Unhappy Feeling

Actually I knew that I am stupid person… Is me made the decision want to stay and waiting the chance even the chance is -100%…

I so sadness on this… I just want simple life and together with “someone” only, I don’t care poor, I don’t mind no everything.. I can accompany him to fight everything back… I just want him only.. But unfortunately is I not qualification to get everything..

I keep thinking he will find me ? he will do something for me? NO, he won’t do that, he will not do for me because i just nobody for him.. I very sad to keep crying until I headache… Why he treat me like this??

I have disconnect everything, I force myself stop to find him, I tell myself he won’t care me he will not do something for me… He can’t do anything… I’ve thinking he will sad? Yes, He will but he won’t find me and do a thing for me.. He rather to hurt me…

My heart suffering, my heart telling me don’t do that because I be not willing leave him.. He is my dream man, 1st time my heart telling me I must hold him dont give up.. Unfortunately, timing is wrong.. I not reconciled to have this ending, I want fight it.. But how i fight also useless, I am nobody… He won’t care me who i am.. I think he not really cherish my love and my heart, just i am idoit to cherish his love..

I pray to god, please let me go.. I don’t want stay in world, I don’t want cry for him, I don’t want hurt feeling.. Sadness, suffering, hurt also the feeling is bad … I hope I can meet death and make a deal, exchange my live to dead.. my live give to who people need it to continue stay…

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